Erap Jokes
+5
dualdeath
Jumi
jhinKawaiiMelody
birjj32
Squier
9 posters
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Re: Erap Jokes
Tao: ano favorite color mo?
Erap: Edi Pyu Sha..
Tao: I-Spell mo nga..
Erap: Ay! Red pala.
Erap: Edi Pyu Sha..
Tao: I-Spell mo nga..
Erap: Ay! Red pala.
Re: Erap Jokes
Reporter: Sir, ano po ba ang pinagawa nyong sticker na "LATANG PINOY"?..
Erap: Ah,yan ba?..
Tinagalog ko lang yung dating slogan na...
"THE FILIPINO CAN"...
'di ba mas maganda ngayon?..
Erap: Ah,yan ba?..
Tinagalog ko lang yung dating slogan na...
"THE FILIPINO CAN"...
'di ba mas maganda ngayon?..
Re: Erap Jokes
kumain sa isang sosyal na resto sina FVR at ERAP...
FVR: give me a Swiss Steak and French fries please...
Erap: ako rin...give me sweepstakes and first prize too...
FVR: give me a Swiss Steak and French fries please...
Erap: ako rin...give me sweepstakes and first prize too...
Re: Erap Jokes
nag-usap sina FVR at Erap sa s*xual practice nila...
FVR: pare, naniniwala ka ba sa safe s*x?..
ERAP: oo naman, sinisigurado ko na wala ang mga asawa
nila kapag ginagawa ko 'yun...
FVR: pare, naniniwala ka ba sa safe s*x?..
ERAP: oo naman, sinisigurado ko na wala ang mga asawa
nila kapag ginagawa ko 'yun...
Re: Erap Jokes
Isang araw, nagpasya si Erap na maglakbay sa pamamagitan ng pagsakay ng barko. Hindi pa nakakalayo ang barko ng bigla itong lumubog. Makalipas ang ilang minuto, isang rescue team ang dumating at ni-rescue si Erap ng isang kabataang lalake...
Erap: sabihin mo kung ano ang
gusto mong gantimpala at ibibigay
ko sa 'yo...
Lalaki: wheelchair po...
Erap: bakit wheelchair, eh hindi ka naman pilay?
Lalaki: dahil po pag nalaman ng tatay ko na iniligtas ko kayo, siguradong pipilayan niya po ako...
Erap: sabihin mo kung ano ang
gusto mong gantimpala at ibibigay
ko sa 'yo...
Lalaki: wheelchair po...
Erap: bakit wheelchair, eh hindi ka naman pilay?
Lalaki: dahil po pag nalaman ng tatay ko na iniligtas ko kayo, siguradong pipilayan niya po ako...
Re: Erap Jokes
One particular day many years ago, Erap's wife was having labor pains. Erap panicked so he called their family doctor:
Erap: Hello, Doc. My wife is in labor!..
Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?..
Erap: Yes, Doc!..
Doc: Is this the first baby?..
Erap: No, Doc. This is Erap!..
Erap: Hello, Doc. My wife is in labor!..
Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?..
Erap: Yes, Doc!..
Doc: Is this the first baby?..
Erap: No, Doc. This is Erap!..
Re: Erap Jokes
Teacher: (talking to ERAP) can you give me an example of a beast of burden?..
ERAP: Carabao, ma'am!..
Teacher: very good!..can you give another example?..
ERAP: how about another Carabao?..
ERAP: Carabao, ma'am!..
Teacher: very good!..can you give another example?..
ERAP: how about another Carabao?..
Re: Erap Jokes
nag-uusap sila Jinggoy at Erap...
Jinggoy: dad, bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang elesi, uma-angat sa lupa?..bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot ang elesi, nasa mesa pa din?..
Erap : t*nga ka pala eh!..kasi yung bentilador may kurdon, 'yun ang pumipigil dun!..
Jinggoy: dad, bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang elesi, uma-angat sa lupa?..bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot ang elesi, nasa mesa pa din?..
Erap : t*nga ka pala eh!..kasi yung bentilador may kurdon, 'yun ang pumipigil dun!..
Re: Erap Jokes
What's the difference between Erap and Magic?..
Magic is an illusion, Erap is real...
What's the similarities?..
The audience think they're both entertaining...
Magic is an illusion, Erap is real...
What's the similarities?..
The audience think they're both entertaining...
Re: Erap Jokes
In the US they have Bill Clinton, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Stevie Wonder...
Here in the Philippines, we have ERAP, no cash, no hope, no wonder...
Here in the Philippines, we have ERAP, no cash, no hope, no wonder...
Re: Erap Jokes
Q & A AGAIN
Q: How are a San Miguel Beer bottle and Erap alike?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why does Erap keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
A: They are for those who don't drink!
Q: How do you confuse Erap?
A: Stick him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: Why did the Erap stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.
Q: What do you do if Erap throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell, he's got a grenade in his mouth!
Q: Why did Erap get fired from his job at the M & M's factory?
A: He kept throwing out the Ws.
Q: How are a San Miguel Beer bottle and Erap alike?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why does Erap keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
A: They are for those who don't drink!
Q: How do you confuse Erap?
A: Stick him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: Why did the Erap stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.
Q: What do you do if Erap throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell, he's got a grenade in his mouth!
Q: Why did Erap get fired from his job at the M & M's factory?
A: He kept throwing out the Ws.
Re: Erap Jokes
FVR: what's the difference between a potato and a mashed potato?..
ERAP: itong wristband ko pote 'to, 'tong barong ko naman mas pote 'to...
ERAP: itong wristband ko pote 'to, 'tong barong ko naman mas pote 'to...
Re: Erap Jokes
nasusunog ang Malacañang kaya inalalayan si Erap ng mga PSG para makalabas...
"Sir, dito po ang daan", sabi ng isang PSG na itinuturo ang fire exit...
"G*go ka ba? Gusto mo bang masunog ako? eh diyan nga ang labasan ng apoy eh",
sumagot si Erap...
"Sir, dito po ang daan", sabi ng isang PSG na itinuturo ang fire exit...
"G*go ka ba? Gusto mo bang masunog ako? eh diyan nga ang labasan ng apoy eh",
sumagot si Erap...
Re: Erap Jokes
na-interview si Erap tungkol sa kanyang lovelife...
Reporter: First love?
Erap: never dies, syempre...
Reporter: how about your first crush?..
Erap: ahh? awa ng Diyos, sa dami ng flight ko ngayon, 'di pa nangyayari 'yun...
Reporter: First love?
Erap: never dies, syempre...
Reporter: how about your first crush?..
Erap: ahh? awa ng Diyos, sa dami ng flight ko ngayon, 'di pa nangyayari 'yun...
Re: Erap Jokes
Sa isang party. Sabi ng isang Ambassador to Erap:
"I haven't met your wife. Where is she?"
Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap:
"Oh, my wife just passed away."
"I haven't met your wife. Where is she?"
Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap:
"Oh, my wife just passed away."
Re: Erap Jokes
ERAP ordering coffee at Starbucks'...
Waiter: DECAF?..
ERAP: OO, alangan namang dePLATE...
Waiter: DECAF?..
ERAP: OO, alangan namang dePLATE...
Re: Erap Jokes
Erap walks into a casino where he see's a coke vending machine...
He puts in some money and a coke falls out...He smiles and keeps putting in more and more money, and getting heaps of cokes...He kept doing it for about an hour or so until an aide comes up to him and says:
"Haven't you had enough, Sir?"
"No!, Cant you see I'm
winning?!?"
Erap replied...
He puts in some money and a coke falls out...He smiles and keeps putting in more and more money, and getting heaps of cokes...He kept doing it for about an hour or so until an aide comes up to him and says:
"Haven't you had enough, Sir?"
"No!, Cant you see I'm
winning?!?"
Erap replied...
Re: Erap Jokes
Jinggoy: dad bakit ganun?
Erap: bakit?
Jinggoy: tinext ko yung asawa ko na padating na ko
Erap: o ano ngayon?
Jinggoy: pag uwi ko may kasama syang lalaki sa kama
Erap: baka hindi natanggap yung txt mo..
Erap: bakit?
Jinggoy: tinext ko yung asawa ko na padating na ko
Erap: o ano ngayon?
Jinggoy: pag uwi ko may kasama syang lalaki sa kama
Erap: baka hindi natanggap yung txt mo..
rOsS- Newbie
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Number of posts : 18
Age : 34
GP : 0
Re: Erap Jokes
<marquee>News Flash: Assassination attempt on ERAP failed. The president was shot in the head with a 0.45 caliber but survived, dahil walang utak na tinamaan. Mga tao nag-protesta. :!: </marquee>
Re: Erap Jokes
Erap: lintek na ibon 2!! iniputan ako!
Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...
Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! t*nga!!! b*bo!!!
xoxo
Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...
Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! t*nga!!! b*bo!!!
xoxo
Guest- Guest
Re: Erap Jokes
Vatican warned Sin that he will go to hell while Erap will go to heaven.
Why? 'cause when Sin talks, people sleep. When Erap talks, the nation prays.
Why? 'cause when Sin talks, people sleep. When Erap talks, the nation prays.
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