Erap Jokes

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Jumi on Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:21 pm

Tao: ano favorite color mo?

Erap: Edi Pyu Sha..

Tao: I-Spell mo nga..

Erap: Ay! Red pala. Razz

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Fri Oct 03, 2008 10:09 am

Reporter: Sir, ano po ba ang pinagawa nyong sticker na "LATANG PINOY"?..

Erap: Ah,yan ba?..

Tinagalog ko lang yung dating slogan na...

"THE FILIPINO CAN"...

'di ba mas maganda ngayon?..

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sat Oct 04, 2008 8:15 pm

kumain sa isang sosyal na resto sina FVR at ERAP...

FVR: give me a Swiss Steak and French fries please...

Erap: ako rin...give me sweepstakes and first prize too...

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:48 pm

nag-usap sina FVR at Erap sa s*xual practice nila...

FVR: pare, naniniwala ka ba sa safe s*x?..

ERAP: oo naman, sinisigurado ko na wala ang mga asawa
nila kapag ginagawa ko 'yun...

cyclops

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:21 pm

Isang araw, nagpasya si Erap na maglakbay sa pamamagitan ng pagsakay ng barko. Hindi pa nakakalayo ang barko ng bigla itong lumubog. Makalipas ang ilang minuto, isang rescue team ang dumating at ni-rescue si Erap ng isang kabataang lalake...

Erap: sabihin mo kung ano ang
gusto mong gantimpala at ibibigay
ko sa 'yo...

Lalaki: wheelchair po...

Erap: bakit wheelchair, eh hindi ka naman pilay?

Lalaki: dahil po pag nalaman ng tatay ko na iniligtas ko kayo, siguradong pipilayan niya po ako...

Twisted Evil

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:59 am

One particular day many years ago, Erap's wife was having labor pains. Erap panicked so he called their family doctor:

Erap: Hello, Doc. My wife is in labor!..

Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?..

Erap: Yes, Doc!..

Doc: Is this the first baby?..

Erap: No, Doc. This is Erap!..

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Thu Oct 09, 2008 6:26 pm

Teacher: (talking to ERAP) can you give me an example of a beast of burden?..

ERAP: Carabao, ma'am!..

Teacher: very good!..can you give another example?..

ERAP: how about another Carabao?..

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:01 am

nag-uusap sila Jinggoy at Erap...

Jinggoy: dad, bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang elesi, uma-angat sa lupa?..bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot ang elesi, nasa mesa pa din?..

Erap : t*nga ka pala eh!..kasi yung bentilador may kurdon, 'yun ang pumipigil dun!..

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sat Oct 11, 2008 1:57 pm

What's the difference between Erap and Magic?..

Magic is an illusion, Erap is real...

What's the similarities?..

The audience think they're both entertaining...

Wink

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:35 pm

In the US they have Bill Clinton, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Stevie Wonder...

Here in the Philippines, we have ERAP, no cash, no hope, no wonder...

Twisted Evil

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Jumi on Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:54 pm

Q & A AGAIN

Q: How are a San Miguel Beer bottle and Erap alike?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why does Erap keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
A: They are for those who don't drink!

Q: How do you confuse Erap?
A: Stick him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Q: Why did the Erap stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.

Q: What do you do if Erap throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell, he's got a grenade in his mouth!

Q: Why did Erap get fired from his job at the M & M's factory?
A: He kept throwing out the Ws.

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:13 am

FVR: what's the difference between a potato and a mashed potato?..

ERAP: itong wristband ko pote 'to, 'tong barong ko naman mas pote 'to...

scratch

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Thu Oct 16, 2008 2:16 pm

nasusunog ang MalacaƱang kaya inalalayan si Erap ng mga PSG para makalabas...

"Sir, dito po ang daan", sabi ng isang PSG na itinuturo ang fire exit...

"G*go ka ba? Gusto mo bang masunog ako? eh diyan nga ang labasan ng apoy eh",

sumagot si Erap...

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:32 pm

na-interview si Erap tungkol sa kanyang lovelife...

Reporter: First love?

Erap: never dies, syempre...

Reporter: how about your first crush?..

Erap: ahh? awa ng Diyos, sa dami ng flight ko ngayon, 'di pa nangyayari 'yun...

scratch

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:48 pm

Sa isang party. Sabi ng isang Ambassador to Erap:

"I haven't met your wife. Where is she?"

Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap:

"Oh, my wife just passed away."

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:08 am

ERAP ordering coffee at Starbucks'...

Waiter: DECAF?..

ERAP: OO, alangan namang dePLATE...

scratch

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Mon Oct 20, 2008 11:26 am

Erap walks into a casino where he see's a coke vending machine...

He puts in some money and a coke falls out...He smiles and keeps putting in more and more money, and getting heaps of cokes...He kept doing it for about an hour or so until an aide comes up to him and says:

"Haven't you had enough, Sir?"

"No!, Cant you see I'm
winning?!?"

Erap replied...

Twisted Evil

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by rOsS on Wed Oct 22, 2008 3:37 pm

Jinggoy: dad bakit ganun?

Erap: bakit?

Jinggoy: tinext ko yung asawa ko na padating na ko

Erap: o ano ngayon?

Jinggoy: pag uwi ko may kasama syang lalaki sa kama

Erap: baka hindi natanggap yung txt mo.. Razz Razz Twisted Evil

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:37 am

<marquee>News Flash: Assassination attempt on ERAP failed. The president was shot in the head with a 0.45 caliber but survived, dahil walang utak na tinamaan. Mga tao nag-protesta. :lol!!: </marquee>

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Fri Oct 24, 2008 7:21 am

If ERAP could only speak his mind,







he would be "speechless"...

Shocked

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Guest on Sat Oct 25, 2008 9:56 am

Erap: lintek na ibon 2!! iniputan ako!
Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...
Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! t*nga!!! b*bo!!!

pig
xoxo

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sat Oct 25, 2008 5:28 pm

Vatican warned Sin that he will go to hell while Erap will go to heaven.

Why? 'cause when Sin talks, people sleep. When Erap talks, the nation prays.

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Re: Erap Jokes

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