Erap Jokes

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Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Wed Sep 24, 2008 9:39 pm

nakatakas si Erap, FVR at GMA sa mga terorista at nagtago sa mga sako sa isang farm...

terorista1: ano'ng nakita mo dyan?!?
terorista2: mga sako lang...
terorista1: tingnan mo ang laman!!!

...sinipa ng terorista ang unang sako..."meow", sabi ni GMA...

terorista2: pusa!!!

...sinipa ang pangalawang sako, "aw aw" sabi ni FVR...

terorista2: aso!!!

...sinipa ang ikatlong sako...walang itong tunog kaya sinapa
uli ito nang sinipa ng mga terorista...dahil sa sakit, napasigaw na si Erap...

Erap: "patatas"...patatas ako kaya wla akong sound...mga t*nga...


Last edited by Squier on Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:40 am; edited 1 time in total

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Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:42 am

may gimik si erap...
pumunta sya ng beerhouse kasama ang mga bataan nya nang biglang:

Erap: mga bata balik na lang tayo bukas...

Bodyguards: bakit boss?!?

Erap: sama natin si Jinggoy...

Bodyguards: bakit pa boss?!?

Erap: hindi tayo pwedeng pumasok kasi kulang tayo ng isa, nakalagay sa pinto "18 and above" eh seventeen lang tayong lahat...

Bodyguards: galing talaga ni boss...


Last edited by Squier on Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:40 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:19 pm

Erap: Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a bone...

Doctor: Are you choking?!?


Erap: No, I’m serious!!!

bounce


Last edited by Squier on Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:41 am; edited 1 time in total

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Beware

Post by Squier on Fri Sep 26, 2008 10:16 am

Reporter: Mr. President, how was your visit to Australia?!?

Erap: Well, it was nice...I saw many dangaroos...

Reporter: Sir, you mean, kangaroos?!?

Erap: No! Dangaroos! It was written:

“Beware, these animals are dangaroos” (dangerous)


Last edited by Squier on Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:41 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:27 am

Erap: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson...

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?..







Erap: It doesn't matter, cause he can’t read yet...

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WALANG ORAS

Post by birjj32 on Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:44 pm

Walang Oras
Reporter: Sir, do you watch CNN?

Erap: Walang oras.

Reporter: Do you read books?

Erap: Walang oras.

Reporter: Do you play golf?

Erap: Walang oras.

Reporter: Do you play girls?

Erap: Walong oras!

by: ngoim adanarg

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by jhinKawaiiMelody on Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:13 pm

PDI Reporter : Mr. President, bakit po paika-ika kayong maglakad?




Erap : I have high cholesterol level. Sabi ng doktor ko, IWASAN KO
DAW YUNG ITLOG!


Smile

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by jhinKawaiiMelody on Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:18 pm

Erap while still in gradeschool.


Teacher : What is 5 plus 4?


Erap : Eh, di 9.


Teacher : What is 4 plus 5?


Erap : Gagaguhin nyo pa ako, eh binaligtad nyo lang, eh di 6!!


cheers

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by jhinKawaiiMelody on Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:22 pm

Erap is a little bit confused on what surname to use.
Estrada or
Ejercito so he asked his presidential advisers.



and they all suggested
"Sir, toss coin na lang ".

and Erap happily agreed.



He now told everyone
to start calling him President Joseph Tosscoin. :lol!!: :lol!!: :lol!!: :lol!!:

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Jumi on Sun Sep 28, 2008 7:07 pm

Erap: Apo, do you see that small boats. the people use that for pishing.

Apo: ahhh, how about that big boats lolo.

Erap: ah, that are called yacht.

Apo: Spell yacht lolo.

Erap: ay, boat din pala yang mga yan.

Razz

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:09 pm

Russian: we’re 1st in space...

USA: we’re 1st to the moon...

ERAP: we’ll be the 1st to the sun...

USA: you can’t go there, you’ll burn to death...







ERAP: we’re not stupid, we’ll go there at NIGHT!

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by jhinKawaiiMelody on Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:34 pm

While hailing a taxicab in Makati.


Erap : Magkano papuntang San Juan?


Driver : Ikaw lang bang magisa?





Erap : Bakit, di ka ba sasama?

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by dualdeath on Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:51 pm

jhinKawaiiMelody wrote:While hailing a taxicab in Makati.


Erap : Magkano papuntang San Juan?


Driver : Ikaw lang bang magisa?





Erap : Bakit, di ka ba sasama?
pamatay. wahaha.

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:05 pm

GMA: sorry na-late ako...grabe ang brownout sa makati eh...1 hour kami sa elevator...

Erap: mas grabe ang brownout sa San Juan...2hours kami ni Jinggoy sa escalator...

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Jumi on Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:19 pm

Squier wrote:GMA: sorry na-late ako...grabe ang brownout sa makati eh...1 hour kami sa elevator...

Erap: mas grabe ang brownout sa San Juan...2hours kami ni Jinggoy sa escalator...

lol-ed a lot

+ 1 post ^^

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:27 pm

minsang naliligo si Erap...

...sigaw siya agad, "Loi wala na ba tayong ibang shampoo? naliligo ako"

...sagot ni Loi, "aba, kabibili ko lang 'nun at nasa banyo ah"

...sagot ulit si Erap; meron dito pero nakasulat "for dry hair", eh basa na ang buhok ko...ano ba?!?

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Jumi on Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:48 pm

Erap: Loi, Pasahan mo ko ng 2 pesos. may ttext lang ako im4tante. Last text ko na to. ty.

Loi: *Has sent 2 pesos sa number ni erap*

Erap: Thanks.

Loi: Hoy tanga, wag ka na amg reply. sayang load mo.

Erap: k

Smile)

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by mango on Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:28 pm

Jumi wrote:
Squier wrote:GMA: sorry na-late ako...grabe ang brownout sa makati eh...1 hour kami sa elevator...

Erap: mas grabe ang brownout sa San Juan...2hours kami ni Jinggoy sa escalator...

lol-ed a lot

+ 1 post ^^

spammer amf..

_________________
consult now..



love me?..




/postcount+ 1

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:26 am

ERAp: alam mo mare ung aso ng kapitbahay kong c JDV ang talino...grabe...

PGMA: ha? bakit? pano mo nasabi?

ERAP: biruin mo...pag tinanong mo ng 1+1..tatahol..(aw-aw)..
...pag 2+2 naman tatahol ng (aw-aw-aw-aw)...

PGMA: ay wala pala yan sa aso ng kapitbahay kong si JUN-LOZ..mas matalino un...

ERAP: panu mo nmn nasabi?

PGMA: tinanong ko ung aso niya kagabi...1milyon + 1milyon...

ERAP: Oh? anong nangyari? nakasagot b?







PGMA: ay naku! hanggang ngaun tahol pa rin ng tahol...

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by ado on Wed Oct 01, 2008 10:26 am

Squier wrote:ERAp: alam mo mare ung aso ng kapitbahay kong c JDV ang talino...grabe...

PGMA: ha? bakit? pano mo nasabi?

ERAP: biruin mo...pag tinanong mo ng 1+1..tatahol..(aw-aw)..
...pag 2+2 naman tatahol ng (aw-aw-aw-aw)...

PGMA: ay wala pala yan sa aso ng kapitbahay kong si JUN-LOZ..mas matalino un...

ERAP: panu mo nmn nasabi?

PGMA: tinanong ko ung aso niya kagabi...1milyon + 1milyon...

ERAP: Oh? anong nangyari? nakasagot b?







PGMA: ay naku! hanggang ngaun tahol pa rin ng tahol...

bounce

haha...bentang benta sakin...

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:55 am

Erap and Jinggoy nsa kotse...

Jinggoy: dad, labas k nga at tignan mo ung fog lights kung gumagana...

Erap: gumagana, anak...

Jinggoy: ung head lights...

Erap: gumagana rin, anak...

Jinggoy: eh ung hazard lights, dad...







Erap: gumagana, ay hinde, ay gumagana, ay hinde...

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by ..j.k.L.M.N.o.p.. on Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:03 pm

DOC AND ERAP I




doc: ano po ba nagyare sa ears nio?




erap: namamalantsa kse ako tumawag hon ko,,,planstsa ang nadampot ko..





doc:sa kabilang ear??





erap: putris na asawa ko.....TUMAWAG ULET!!





Razz

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by ..j.k.L.M.N.o.p.. on Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:04 pm

DOC AND ERAP II




erap: and saket ng ulo ko doc..





doc: ganyan po tlga,,katulad nlng ng sikmura na kapag walang laman,laging sumasakit!





Smile)

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:01 am

nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim...

akala ng nakakita niloloko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim...

Bantay: Sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah...







ERAP: B*BO! seedless 'to!

cheers

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Re: Erap Jokes

Post by Squier on Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:00 pm

Erap taking a bath nang biglang lumindol...

he ran outside the Beverly Hotel without his clothes on...

Guard: Mr. President! I think you forgot something...







Erap: ay sh*t! ung wristband ko!

bounce

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Re: Erap Jokes

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